I just came crawling back to facebook again, and the things people get worked up about always cracks me up. Commentary and jokes about stuff in the news or whatever…I get…but there’s that handful of idiots in my news feed that are always spouting off and seeing red about dumb shit. Today it was Miley Cyrus’ performance on the VMA’s last night. Several things amuse me about this. The first being this; if Miley Cyrus acting like an idiot on TV makes your blood pressure rise..I don’t want to be your “friend”. I don’t mean posting funny comments and generally expressing “WTF”? I mean ranting about how she is a disgrace, and how she’s a poor role model and what a sad representative of our youth she is. Because seriously, who gives a fuck? She is a twenty year old entertainer and was performing on MTV, you should’ve expected smut. I did, because I love making fun of it. If it makes you angry….Please take a moment and re-evaluate your quiet life of desperation. Let me give you a hug and then fix you a drink because you need it. There are better, more important, more interesting things to get passionate about. Like Justin Timberlake. I prefer a rise in my pink bit pressure over getting butt hurt about Miley Cyrus, and I also prefer to keep the company of people that get passionate about cool shit.
Secondly, the whole performance, from beginning to end was so hysterical I blew a gasket laughing. I live for those kinds of things, because well, I like to be happy..and laughing makes me happy. I love a good freak show. Plus, there is some dark corner of my mind that admires her for getting up there and grabbing her crazy by the balls and waving it around with dancing teddy bears for all the world to see. Fascinating and just fucking fantastic, that’s what it was. And the viral explosion of jokes afterward has been very satisfying on this mundane Monday night…including the spectacle of all the people crying foul and posting their outrage all over facebook. Chic Fil A anyone? Lighten the fuck up. Life is too short.
And lastly, I’m not one to give parenting advice, but if any part of you is worried about your spawn being effected in any way by Miley Cyrus being a skank whore…you’re doing it all wrong. All wrong. My preteen sons watched it, and laughed at all the viral jokes about it with me tonight…and I can say with confidence I’m raising them with strong bullshit/skank radars. Honestly, riding the bus to and from school with all their horny hormonal, insecure peers freaks me out way more than Miley Cyrus, or anything they see online. If they give Miley a second thought after tonight, it will be to laugh at her, and I wouldn’t raise them any other way. It could be worse, you could be Billy Ray, or Robin Thicke’s mom who was quoted as saying:
“I was not expecting her to be putting her butt that close to my son,” she told omg! Insider.
She regrets ever seeing the VMA footage. “It’s not that I saw it once, it’s that I can never un-see it,” she said, adding that she does not think that Cyrus’s new incarnation is a beneficial move.”
I wonder what her facebook status is tonight, that’s an outrage I can stand behind.